Control Issues (Today's Journal Entry)

What a fool I've been,
Holding onto a life that I never should've had,
Hanging onto my anxiety while your hands were always there to hold me.
I know, I know, that you are in control
It doesn't matter if I believe it.
It doesn't matter if I live it the way you want me to.
Your ways are constant,
Your power supreme.
So why do I hold onto my worry?
Why do I hold onto lost things and  closed doors?
Why do I concern myself with all the past that I can't change?
You were with me, I can see that now. You were there all along,
You are in control.
I can see your hands into everything: my friends, my money, my job
You're working.  You've worked.
And yet I still hold on,
Like it's up to me.
You are in control of everything, I've seen it!
And I guess the only thing I have left to do today is to
let it go.