Curly Blond but the roots are brown

I was always the pretender but never the person.

Even when I sang, I would try to sing in the exact same manner and voice of the original artist. I remember that being a little weird to people. Especially when I would sing out Amazing Grace as some kind of negro spiritual.

My favorite artist as a young'n was Amy Grant. I could imitate her voice, her inflections, and after I studied her autograph awhile, I could forge for her too.

(That's a little creepy, I know)

That what I was/am (take your pic) an imitator. A chameleon of my choice. When it came time finally to be Kayt Masterson (wife, mother, lover, or even daughter)...I never knew just who that was, or what she would look like.

If it wasn't someone in Hollywood playing the big screen then it was someone close to me. But never too close because I thought they were too cool for me.

Hannah W. was everything I wanted to be. She wore the striped leggings and retro skirts with complimentary ratty band t-shirts (many of whom I still have yet to see in concert~jealousy looming). Her cherry on top was her outrageously curly blond hair. She usually styled it in cute little puff ball pig tails off to the side of her head. Everything she did or said she did it with flare. She was not a super model eye-candy centerfold, but her personality and individuality made her more than "they" could ever be.

She was amazing...just thinking about her and her persona...I'm still in awe.

No no. I know what you're probably thinking and no.

I did not have a crush on her. I just wanted to be like her.

I'm sure we all do this to some extent. Otherwise there would not be a hit show entitled "American Idol". The idea of worshipping another person by imitation is not a new one. However, when you lose who you are because you are always trying to be someone else.. You have a problem.
That's me.


I never wore crazy colored tights. I didn't want to be that obvious, but I did start wearing funky skirts and t-shirts together with converse shoes. I wanted to be admired for my weirdness as Hannah was. I wanted to be content with me like she was.

I bring this subject up only because recently I was talking to my husband about how I was thinking of choosing this new persona (from a movie we watched together) to model after.
I realized that I had never talked to anyone (including him) about that part of me. Probably because it's a bit embarrassing to say that I constantly try to morph into someone else.
I get so intense into the transformation that not only do I study everything I can get my creepy little hands on concerning said person, but I also begin to view myself as them. As if I am looking out at my world from behind their eyes.
If I could harness this ability with some confidence I might actually make a pretty good actress.

Just for the heck of honesty I will list off a few "characters" that I have chosen in the past to mimic.
Amy Grant
Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart)
Elizabeth Shue (Karate Kid and The Saint)
Jodie Foster (various movie roles)
Kate Winslet (Eternal Sunshine and Titanic)
Julia Roberts (Runaway Bride)

Surprisingly (I guess) men are in this list too...
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack from Saved by the bell)
Richard Gere (First Knight)
Brad Pitt (The Mexican and Spy Game)
Val Kilmer (Top Gun)
and the guy that played Karate Kid that we never saw in any movies ever again. I think his name was Ralph.

And the actress that I was speaking to my husband about is Zooey Deschanel (Yes Man).